Falling Apart
by Mrs. Tiffany Ivashkov
Summary: Rose Hathaway had almost everything she ever wanted until one day she didn't. Love, heartbreak, and betrayal. My first fanfic


All changes are more or less tinged with melancholy, for what we are leaving behind is part of ourselves. Amelia Barr

Chapter one

It was a warm fall evening that found me sitting on my deck watching the waves from the tide roll towards the beach with the sun setting over the horizon it was absolutely breathtaking to watch. I would have never guessed how my life would have turned out like this three years ago, but to me this was so much better. I may have made some wrong choices and hurt people that I cared about but I was content here maybe not happy but definitely content. Little did I know my life would once again be upturned and this little piece of comfort would be gone. But I didn't know this as my memory took me back to the day that had altered the course of my life.

Walking towards the gym I couldn't help but think back to the past few weeks and how much better they were than what I expected. Field training was coming along beautifully and although I didn't get Lissa, Eddie did and if it wasn't myself guarding her I knew he would be the next best person for the job. Ever since Mason and Spokane he has realized what the world is really like out here and stepped his game up. Christian and I ended up getting along a lot better than I could ever hope for. We spent hours in his room talking and goofing off. His personality complimented mine surprisingly well with his sarcastic remarks and badass attitude as we started calling it. Although I could feel that Lissa was a little hurt that she was being neglected, she was also ecstatic that her boyfriend and her best friend were finally getting along. Adrian, now that boy is a walking contradiction. Sweet but cocky, loving towards his friends but arrogant towards everyone else. Maybe that's why we are such good friends because only our little group sees him for the man that he truly is at heart. Now if I could only get my comrade to admit to me that he loves me everything would actually be perfect in my life. But as you know life isn't perfect and every good thing has to come to an end.

When I walked in the gym with a bright smile on my face I never expected to get my heart broke and it turn out to be one the worst and greatest days of my life simultaneously although at the time great was hardly what I would have called it. He was standing up in formal guardian attire with his guardian mask fully in place. I was so confused, where was the mats and his training clothes at? "Comrade? What is going on? Do you have to go some where today? I thought we had practice?" I kept on firing questions until he finally raised his hand up to stop me.

"Oh Roza, we have to talk about some things ok so just slow down for a minute." As I gazed up at him and waited for him to tell me what was going on his mask finally slipped when he looked into my eyes. They were full and sorrow and love. But why would he feel sorrow? "Roza I'm leaving." He was trying to be firm but I just didn't get it, I mean we could miss training a couple of days if we had to it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Oh ok so we'll have to miss a couple days worth of training then that will be okay right I mean I am ahead of everybody else anyways. I'll just make sure to do my laps and stuff while you're gone." After I said this I smiled internally at how I am growing up. I would never have offered to run six months ago.

"No you don't understand, I'm leaving the academy for good. I just can't stay here anymore."

My heart shattered with that one little sentence. "Why would you do that?" I cried. "Why would you leave me? I know that you love me I can see it in your eyes right now. We can work something out to be together graduation is next month and then I won't be your student anymore." I tried to convince him to see it but he wasn't having any of that.

"Roza I do love you and you know that already I just couldn't say it and I shouldn't be now but I think you deserve the truth from me. I breathed a sigh of relief maybe he wasn't leaving after all. I started to jump into his arms to show him just how much I loved him when he gently pushed me away. I looked up at him hurt and I know he could clearly see it on my face.

"Let me finish Rose." Oh ouch Rose, what happened to his breathless Roza that I was used to hearing. "Although it is true that I do love you that is exactly why I am leaving. I can't take the chance of loving you. You will be a great guardian one day and I don't want to stand in the way of that. Plus I know that if something happened I would protect you with my life over anyone else's, and that is wrong Rose you know that in this life they come first. I called Tasha and told her if her offer still stood that I would take it but it would just be a job and nothing more. She agreed and told me that she had found a man that makes her happy but she would love to have me as a guardian."

He stopped and saw the tears in my eyes and thought that they were sad tears but I was so angry. I didn't know if it was the spirit darkness or just me but I exploded. " Dimitri who the hell do you thing you are?" I asked him absolutely seething. How dare he make assumptions on what I need or want.

" Don't you think I have the right to make the choice of how I want to live my life? Don't you think it's my choice if I want to risk my reputation?" I spat at him. He looked surprised by my reaction, I mean its his choice to leave what did he want me to do beg him not to go, throw myself at his feet and hold on like a child.

"Rose…" he trailed off when I stopped him.

"No you listen to me," I screamed. "How I live my life is my choice and not yours and you would do well to remember that. Your absolutely right I am going to do great things with my life whether it be being a guardian or anything else I may do. But if you walk through that door don't ever come back to me," I warned lowly. "My mother had done enough walking away from me to last a lifetime and I don't need you to do it to." He flashed me a sad smile.

As he turned to walk away he spoke one more thing to me shattering it all over again "Roza I will always love you," and turned to leave.

"Wait," he turned hope shining through his eyes "I guess it's true when they say that love isn't enough." His face crumbled and he walked out of my life as quickly as he had come into it.

His leaving broke my heart that day but it also was the cause of the greatest thing that ever happened to me. So I supposed that the saying when a door closes a window opens could be true. He closed the door on our love that day. He said he would always love me but mine faded. At first the pain was unbearable but day after day it got better and better until I can finally think upon our time with a fondness that comes from a first love. Now if I could only forget _him_ then my life might really be happy instead of content.


End file.
